An actual conversation

Meet Topher. He's a Chihuahua. He's also a tiny little ball of adorable energy. He also has a very large bark for a very small dog.

(This is a conversation (well, um, mostly one way) between myself, my chihuahua (Topher), and one of my labradors (Choco).)

11:45 pm:


Me: "Come on, Topher. It's time to go outside and go pee."

Topher: "Rrrrwooof!" scampers toward door.

Me: "Good boy, Topher. Go outside!"

Topher: scampers outside door with Choco.

Me: goes and gets ice water in kitchen. Passes past door and sees Topher giving the 'Let me back in! It's mildly cold out here and my little Chihuahua body can't handle 70 degrees fahrenheit!' Opens door and steps outside.

Topher: "Woof!"

Me: "Topher, you need to go pee. You too, Choco."

Topher: Scratches right ear.

Me: "Now is not time to scratch. It's time to pee. I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

Topher: Scratches left ear.

Me: "Oh, so now your other side itches. Go pee! Go play with Choco!"

Choco: Lumbers out to pee in the grass.

Me: "Oh look at Choco. She's being a good girl and going pee. Go over there and pee, you dumb Chihuahua."

Topher: Rolls over and shows me his belly.

Me: "No! I am not going to tickle you. Go over into the grass and do your business!"

Choco: Looks mildly interested in something out on the street and growls a bit.

Topher: "RRRWOOFWOOFYIPYIPRRRRR!" Scampers to go scare off which is likely a lizard or squirrel.

Me: "Ugh..." Retreats into house.