It's Time Again! (My 2009 Resolutions)

Is it bad that I've been procrastinating all day from writing my resolutions?

I've had a good day. Slept until 10:30 (Thought it was 9:30, but then I remembered that I remembered to change my wall clock - finally. Is it bad that I find it easier to just remember that the clock is wrong?) and cuddled with Tophre and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and watched Mythbusters with mom in the afternoon while she "Worked on rejuvenating her creative juices" (aka took a nap) and then babysat for a few hours in the evening. The kid - Rusty, who I've mentioned several times before - had gotten a Wii for christmas, so we played a lot of that. Unfortunately, he'd gotten very good in the week he's had the game... so I had my arse handed to me by a seven year old in most of the Wii sports and Mario Kart. Kerry-Lynn and I just watched Step Up 2 (The Streets) and now here I am... 11:24, writing my resolutions for 2009.

It's not like I haven't been thinking of them all day... it's just that I haven't put them into words yet.

So while I procrastinate a little longer, let's look at last year's resolutions:

1) Be not afraid of venturing by myself
2) Turn in my applications (and get accepted to college)
3) Exude confidence

Number two was easy - probably too easy. I turned in my applications exactly a year ago... and as I'm attending UTSA, I think I got the second part covered. I like to call Number two the "insta-resolution". Instant gratification, my friends. (I'm glad I did get them done by the 1st. By the 2nd, I had gotten the flu - which royally sucked.)

Number one was a little bit harder, but it was a resolution mostly aimed at my summer abroad. I realized while making my resolutions last year that I really didn't know where I would be going or what I would be doing after May 31, 2008, when I graduated. It was a little scary to not have the security of 8am-4pm schooling anymore, like I'd had for the last 13 years of my life. As you have noticed, I'm doing fine. I think this resolution has been successful.

Number three is the only one that I'm a little iffy on. It's not like I'm terribly self-conscious or have an awful self image, but I think that because I still have a lot of growing to do, I am putting it on my list for 2009, too.

So here it is! My list for 2009.

1) Exude confidence!
2) Improve projected image.
3) Let go, but still retain.

Number one is kind of self-explanatory, but it ties in with Number two. I've mentioned in the last few days that I've been watching a lot of What Not to Wear episodes, and that's made me realize that dressing well is one large part of confidence and a good projection of self. I've not been dressing in a way that shows who I am, or that makes me feel good... it just makes me feel comfortable, and safe. The last few days I've been wearing my new clothes, and it feels really good to be wearing clothes and not St Michael's t-shirts and jeans (although I will wear jeans. You can't get me out of my denim.) Style is one thing that I am trying to introduce into my life... but slowly. After all, I'm still recovering from eight years of Catholic school dress codes.

Number three is about moving forward. Mom's putting our house on the market soon, and it's really hard to take. It's not the only house that I've lived in in my life, but it's been that way since I was about three and a half - more than a significant chunk. I've been (slowly) realizing recently that life isn't about going away and having something solid to come back to, it's about venturing out and taking everything with you, good memories and bad. So while I'm taking down posters and packing up trophies and clothes and packing them away for a while... I want to work on moving on, but still retaining what's important. It's not like I'm never getting any of my stuff or my family or memories back when I put them in a box. I don't have to say goodbye to my trophies, or my bulletin board (which, be forewarned, You'll be getting a tour of my bulletin board soon.), or my yarn stash forever. Just for a little while.

Well, it's nearly January 2nd, 2009. Time for me to post the blog and spend some time wondering where on earth I will start trying to pack up my room. I have a feeling that the first thing to come down will be my posters, then stuffed animals, then my dresser... and from there, we'll see.