I don't know if you all were aware of this, but I wasn't exactly truthful about my reasons about why I hadn't blogged this week in my post last Wednesday night. I got a vote for #1 from my mom and a vote for #3 from Brandlyn... although she did add that if I go back, I should take her with me.
The true reason why I have not been blogging this week has a whole lot to do with my future. I've become very stressed over the last week over those two essays I have to write for my application into the UT school of communications. I was able to get both drafts done in the last week (one of them I did last Thursday and the other this last Tuesday. If it sounds like I'm cutting it close, that's probably true. I am one of those people who truly works and thinks better under pressure. The realization that I know I have to focus is the spark for me.
So I have been working on like a madwoman on them every day, several times a day. I have almost finished them and I will have them done by tomorrow night. They are due on Sunday (March 1) and after that I will be able to breathe easy and anxiously await my acceptance (or rejection) from them. I can only hope that they see that I would be a valuable addition to their school. In any case I have a spot at UT and that is good enough for me right now.
The whole stress of applying and waiting and being nervous about acceptance is sending me back to last year. This time around it is a lot less paperwork but no less anxiety and stress. I am looking forward to the end of the weekend already just to know that I'll be done with those essays and that it is completely out of my control from that point on.
My week has been completely encompassed by these two essays. They are always in the back of my brain. I was so relieved to get them out of my head and on paper - a process that only took about an hour and a half for each of them - but when I mentioned this to Mom, she told me that I had to remember that I have been planning these essays for two months now. So many hours have gone into these essays, not just the writing but the planning and the editing and I can only hope that they are the best that they can be by the time I submit them.
The only remaining thing that both of the essays need are strong conclusions. Conclusions are always the most difficult part of any essay for me, no matter the topic. (I think the only easy conclusions I have ever written are the ones in my fanfiction stories. It is always easy to finish a piece of fanfiction. On occasion it is bittersweet, but easy.)
I have given them a quick edit this evening and I think that I am done with them for the day. I am going to close the documents, crawl into bed with my laptop, watch a movie and then go to sleep. Tomorrow morning, I will open them up again and hopefully have good, strong conclusions for them.
I owe a big (huge, massive, humongous) thank you to my mom, who has helped me so much this week and through the whole process. She's walked me through the strengths and weaknesses of both essays so many times that she could probably recite them back to me now. She has been there to tell me that either "This part sucks" (though she never said it like that), "This is something you should emphasize more" or "This is great!" She's made me cry several times, but mostly just because she's so nice. She tells me how wonderful I am and how I don't need to worry so much because I'm a really good writer and I forget that fact a lot. (Thanks, Mom. I love you.)
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On an aside, Brandlyn and I were chatting while I was walking back from class, and she was remarking on how lovely the weather is, though we could do with a bit of rain. She told me, "I really want to buy some rain boots... but I don't think I'd ever get to wear them because it doesn't rain here!"
Maybe if she bought some wellies then it would rain. Get on that, Brandy. We need some rain.
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