Bad Potion #9.

Mom mentioned to me that I hadn't mentioned Nicole in a while in one of my posts, and tonight I will oblige her.

I spent a good deal of my day freaking out in one of those weird I-Totally-Look-Calm-On-The-Outside ways. I've mentioned at some point (probably) that my mother is a ridiculously hard person to read (This is true. Stop looking at your computer like that, Mom!) and recently I've discovered that I, while still quite the open book, am becoming more like her. This is true mostly in the sense that even when I dislike people, they have absolutely no idea. I'm not a confrontational person, and thus, I'm really nice to everyone. This, while a good thing, results in a whole lot of bottled up Something. Anger, frustration, drama... fill in the word as you like, but some days it explodes out of me.

Stefanie's Recipe for a Terrible Day (Believe me, this is relevant.)

We're doing a project in dance class, and I am in a group of girls who are not my ideal group, and while I can deal with that, there's one girl in particular who just plain creeps me out. Today, while we were discussing something to do with choreography, she started giving me this attitude thing and I started giving it right back to her. I felt terrible afterwards, but no way was I going to apologize. I did nothing wrong.

(Ingredient #1: Pride.)

Later in the day, I expressed my desire to (possibly) quit my job to my mother, due to the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF EVERYTHING that is on my plate. She came back with a rational argument that, frankly, I can't even remember. I just remember that it made total sense. (How does she do that?)

(Ingredient #2: Stress.)

Auditions for the spring play (called You Can't Take It With You) were today after school. They could have gone better. I did fine, and I, being a senior, will be cast well. But you know that feeling of "I so could have done that better." It dogged me.

(Ingredient #3: Disappointment.)

By the time I got to piano today, I was so overwhelmed with all of the Ingredients of Doom that I couldn't concentrate on anything. My teacher was really sweet about it, and she could tell that my heart wasn't in it tonight, and my mind was somewhere WAY far off. She gave me some good advice, I started bawling, and I went on my merry way home.

(Ingredient #4: Tears.)

I came home, cried some more in my room (is crying like burning off fuel?) made myself some dinner, did my homework, and sat down at my piano with my guitar. I started alternating between my piano and my guitar and figured out a song or two, and by the end of it, the music made me feel a whole lot better.

Basically, today sucked. I'm thinking that tomorrow will be much better.

(Cue Monty Python's "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" song.)