I don't know, but right now doesn't seem very real. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted and I've been dosing on pain meds all day (damn cramps) but... as I sit here typing everything seems unreal... everything ultimately possible. I want to write, get something creative out of this, but it won't come out. The only thing I've managed is a short poem:
Thoughts of maybe plague my brain
What if? How? And could it be?
I guess it's hard to make this plain:
I love you, but stay away from me.
I guess there's some truth in there about how I feel... but it's way overexaggerated. I'm just perpetually confused these days. I should meditate more often... that makes everything so much better.
I just finished babysitting this adorable kid named Rusty about half an hour ago. Basically, I put the kid to bed after an hour and a half of playing with him and then I watched tv for the remainding 4 and hours. I watched "The Girl Next Door" and the end of "The Princess Bride" (I love that movie!!)
I think I'm going to go take my makeup off and go to bed. This whole disreality thing is getting wierd. >.<
Yes. I know disreality isn't a word. But it's my word. So back off, bitch. ;)
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