Spoilers, ye be warned

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN : AT WORLD'S END... SPOILERS!!!!

So I saw Pirates III this evening with Brandlyn. And so here's my review (which kind of has to do with Pirates II, since it was a continuation of it):

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

As for the plot of III, it was RIDICULOUSLY CONFUSING. I have a feeling I'll be seeing it again in the next few weeks (several times?) and it will make more sense, but basically I sat in my chair being baffled the entire time. At the end, it makes little to no sense, as well.

Jack goes loco (or even more loco than usual, if it's possible) having conversations with himself, his multiple selves, who are anything from dopes, chickens, peanut-lovers, and even a Davy Jones crewmember. He's even got the little shoulder-selves (although it's unclear which one is the devil and which an angel.) Like all of the castmembers, Jack switches sides a million times.

Will is an entirely OTHER deal. He finally marries Elizabeth (FINALLY...) and then kills Davy Jones and thus becomes the new captain of the Flying Dutchman. Which means he can only see his bride once every ten years. Joy of joys, eh? Will's character (before he becomes captain) is rather confusing. He betrays people (?) but not really (?) and then becomes the captain of the black pearl, then is on the bad guy's side, but in the end is on the good guy's side... and then at the end, he gets to wear a bandana and sets his father free. Whoop de do.

Elizabeth.... Oh Elizabeth. She goes through the most interesting transformation of all. She becomes the captain of a ship, then the King of the council of Pirates (or something) and then she goes all badass with swords and yaddayadda. She and Will are all "I want you but I can't trust you" throughout the whole movie, except at the end where they finally get married. It's a large stretch between the 'You want pain- try wearing a corset' girl from film one, to the 'I'm badass, take orders from me or I will stick you with my sword' of film three.

So... Tia Dalma and Davy Jones were (are?) lovers (I totally guessed that) and then at the end it turns out that she's Calypso the goddess trapped in human form. And then when the pirates release her from her fleshy prison she yells incoherently and becomes a billion crabs, causes a whirlpool to form, and thus makes the final battle all the more impressive. But she disappears.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie... great battle scenes, funny one-liners (nothing like the Jar of Dirt, though :)) and then you leave the theatre feeling all "Yay, I got SOME sort of closure this time."

Advice: Don't expect this movie to make sense, stay through the credits, and DO NOT buy a large drink. It's a long movie and you don't want to miss any of it, lest you REALLY confuse yourself.

So go see it. It's worth the $7.

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Pirates III, Breadbox edition:
Everyone: Singapore sucks. Let's go freeze our asses off. Hey look, there's the edge of the world, let's fall off.
Jack: I'm crazy! You're not there so I'm going to shout profanites at you. Let's rock the boat.
Everyone: Okay! Now, let's betray each other!
Everyone: Okay!
Everyone: ...Where's the rum?
Will/Elizabeth & Tia Dalma/Davy Jones: Hold on, I do love you.
Will/Jack/Davy Jones/Norrington/Boostrap/Barbossa: I'm getting bored over here. Your side looks more interesting... And you're winning. -switches sides-
Tia Dalma: I'm a goddess, so set me free and I'll turn into a billion crabs. By the way, I hate you again, Davy Jones. -smite-
Davy Jones: Oh no. Jack that's my hear you've got.
Jack: I want to be immortal, but damnit what a time to grow a conscience.
Will: I'm dying.
Jack: Damn I hate consciences, here you stab him.
Davy Jones: Hey Will, that's my heart you stabbed!
Will: How is it that cutting out my heart makes me alive again?
Elizabeth: Honey, let's make babies. See you in ten years!
-END-