I am finally getting into this running thing. Actually getting into it, and not just going along with it because I have to. I really like the way I feel when I run - it's my favorite cardio exercise. I like how I feel skinny, I like how my feet bounce, and I like the burst of energy that I get when I run. I feel more and more every day like I might be able to tackle something like a half marathon. (Oh hey! 12/4/10!)
But with these longer runs, the old enemies resurface.
ASTHMA.
(Bum bum bum!)
I've had allergy and exercise induced asthma for what seems like forever. I've been seeing my doctor (who is the best asthma/allergy doctor ever! And also who happens to be an alumni of UT's chapter of APO! Small world.) for at least nine years. Under normal circumstances, I've been able to control my asthma, to where most of the time my inhaler stays at home, unless I know I'm going to be somewhere around pets. It gets annoying when allergies are bad, it has been mildly threatening when I've overdone it while doing Tae Kwon Do or something, but I feel like it has never actively worked against me.
The last week or so, I've been working on running for longer distances without breaks for walking. I notice that it's really easy to start walking and really hard to keep running, so it's partly a mental thing, but also it's partly due to the fact that a half marathon is 13.1 miles and I don't want to be walk-running every other mile of it. I would like to run as much as possible while being reasonably attuned to my body, and what it may or may not be screaming at me.
These longer periods of running have been triggering a different kind of asthma attack for me. Usually, my asthma problems are like (and this is the best way I can think to describe it) a cobweb in the back of my throat. The air can all get in, but it's like it has to be sieved first, and the sieving process is annoying, but that's it. The asthma problems I'm having while running feel more like I can't properly catch a breath. I can feel my lungs inflating, but I can't make them slow down. Unlike what I've heard people suggest, it's not like breathing through a tiny little straw - not at all, actually. (I've tried the straw thing before, just to see if it replicated it. It's bunk.)
I run with my inhaler, mostly because I understand how stupid it is not to, (though sometimes I forget) and so when I have these asthma problems, I can use it to calm down my body and breathe again. What I am all "RAGE!" about is the fact that I feel like my body is ready to push into longer distances, but my lungs are not. It's not like after my 4 mile run (well, 2 mile run and 2 mile walk home) I want to jump up and do it all again right now, but I could have kept going. I think I could have even run the whole way. But this stupid asthma thing got in the way. And Ally has a strict "one and you're done" policy when she runs with me, which is probably for the best.
While I understand that it's very important to push myself, I also understand better than ever that I have to listen to my body and not push TOO hard. I just wish my body were not so wheezy. Asthma is scary, and I thought I was doing really well with it. Having two asthma attacks in one week was not what I visualized at the beginning of it.
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