Dear Boo

Dear Boo,

I miss you, Old Girl.


You arrived in our family in 1995, already a year old. You were already called Boo, and I loved that name. Since we didn't know when you were born, we gave you the birthday of October 31. Boo, like a ghost... haha!

I miss the way you would sing, and the way you would snap your jaw several times really quickly when you would want our attention.

I will always remember the way you used to scratch your back (rolling onto your back and then wiggling around until you fell over) and how when you sneezed, your whole body would move and I could hear it from the other side of the house.

I remember when Grandad came and visited and he spoiled you rotten. You must have gained so much weight then! Bentley was already gone then, so you had him all to yourself to beg for table scraps.

Do you remember when we brought Choco home for the first time, and you took one good look at her and then turned to look at us as if to say, "What is this, and when are you going to take it back?"

And when Topher joined our family, how he tried to snuggle up with you on your bed, and you immediately stood up and walked away.

You, my dear Boo, were the matriarch of our little doggy pack. You didn't take any crap from anyone. If you wanted that food, you'd snap for it. If you wanted that spot, you'd take it!

Even as an old girl, if you smelled pizza you'd come all the way upstairs and try and steal it from us. You knew your place, and you knew that you were the one in charge.

I miss you. I miss you so much, Booski. But, after sixteen years of life, I know you were ready to leave. Have fun with Bentley, Angel, and Petey up there in doggy heaven!

Your sister, Stefanie.

Complete: Week 1 of school

So I have successfully completed one week of school. It was stressful, it was challenging (which, in my opinion, doesn't bode well for the rest of the semester. The first week is always a challenge, though!)

I am (more or less) on top of my reading assignments, as you can tell by my planner with all of those crossed-out assignments!


So far, I've made a small dent into this week, which has more assignments (as would be expected.)


Since Friday was not productive at all (RIP Boo! I miss you, my old girl.) and Saturday was even less productive (Four words: Robin Hood, Season Three), I forced myself out of bed at 10:30 and made a pot of coffee and started to read.

I got through my history reading I was supposed to do for Friday and my Art History assignment for tomorrow (we're starting with prehistoric cave paintings and such.) I still have another 10 pages of the Spanish Tragedy to read, and I have another chapter of my US history book to read... but I feel moderately on top of things.

At the moment, I'm trying to build up the steam I need to continue for the rest of the semesters. If I am going to be more open this semester, I may try and post my weekly assignments. I feel like if I make them public, I'll be more likely to follow through with them, do you know what I mean? I need guilt monkeys!

So, meet my clock.


(It's a circle, not a slightly oblong sphere. The angle at which it is hanging just makes it look that way!)

It's been my clock for ages! It's been hanging in my bedroom for years, a gift from my lovely Gramma. I packed it in one of the boxes to go to my apartment (I know I did!) when I packed it way back when, in the fall, when I packed up my room to go into storage. When I got to my apartment, however, I couldn't find it in any of the boxes I knew I'd brought over! I gave up on it, and figured I had accidentally put it into a box that went into storage.

Well, I found it yesterday! It turns out, it went into one of my yarn bins, the one that goes under my bed (also the one I never look into!) I was looking for a sewing kit and thought there might be one in there, but as it turns out there wasn't one... but there was the clock! I gave it a fresh battery and hung it up on my wall.

I still love the clock, Gramma. I love that it has my name on it, and it can be nobody else's clock!

Another vlogday!

A little more about my classes... and towel turbans. Welcome back to vlogday! Betcha didn't see it coming quite so soon!

Day One of School, also Vlogday!

Welcome to the first day of classes, me! I sold my soul for textbooks. :( Here's a vlog about my day, my textbooks, and my new obsession with calendars!!



B/Vlog tomorrow about my second day!

Spring Classes

It's that time again! Time for the spring semester to start... and time to let my mother know how to stalk me every week.

Et voila! My spring 2010 school schedule!


It may (or may not) change, and depending on how the first two or so weeks of school go, I may drop one of the classes. In any case, classes start tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to it! Not looking forward to using my alarm, but at least my earliest class is at 10! SO much better than 8!

Bring it on, UT. I'm ready.

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So, I live right across the street from a gas station, and every once and a while, I spot a gem while they gas up...


AWESOME.

I Need Vs. I Want

I'll be honest - I have a problem with admitting that I am not perfect, and tonight, I really opened up to my friend Ally. She helped me realize that I have friends who I can depend on to help me... and be my guilt monkeys when I need someone to kick my arse into gear.

I have a habit of projecting the fact (or fiction) that I am totally put together and collected all the time, but in reality, of course I am totally not. In my mind, it is easier to project the image of being collected than it is to admit that I need some help. I struggle daily with the fact that I don't have it together all the time and it upsets me that I don't. Of course I know that nobody really has it together all the time, but for some reason, it really doesn't get through to me that it is okay that I don't.

I have these crazy expectations of myself to be perfect, and I believe that those expectations I have of myself are the same expectations that others (my parents, friends, and family) have of me.

The thing is, they're pretty high expectations that I wouldn't expect of anyone else. So why on earth would I expect them of myself? It has been something I have struggled with for a long time, but no matter what, I can't seem to get rid of them.

So when I don't do well, I shrug it off. If I don't make a big deal out of it, it won't mean a big deal to me. I can't help but feel like this is the wrong approach, because if it doesn't mean anything to me, how can I fix it?

After collectively drinking three (or four? I can't remember) pots of tea tonight, Ally encouraged me to write an "I need" and an "I want" list as a way to prioritize and set goals. I thought I'd share them with yall. They'll be on my wall for everyone to see.

I need...
-Grades that will keep me at the University of Texas. (I need A's and B's.)
-To consistently keep on top of reading assignments.
-To give myself permission to fail.
-To be me.
-To reconnect.
-To be okay with my vulnerability.
-To be honest with myself and others.
-To not brush it off.
-To eat breakfast.

I want...
-A companion.
-To (really) cook something every week.
-To not say 'no' so often and to take a chance.
-A lot.
-To learn something every day.
-To open up more. Truly open up.
-To write (and finish) another story.
-To try something different.
-To learn how to play a new song every month.
-To learn how to play that guitar sitting by my keyboard.
-To play the piano every day.
-To BE a writer.

In this way, these are kind of my new year's resolutions, but kind of not. I didn't really make resolutions this year... probably because I was afraid of what I would tell myself to do.

What I want for this blog is for it to be a place for my honest thoughts. It is tough to admit to some things and easier to admit to others... but here I am, telling you that I am not perfect. I don't make good grades all the time, and I don't want to eat my vegetables every day. I would rather eat a bar of chocolate than an apple, and I desperately hope that my really cute neighbor notices my new haircut. I am terrified of what the new semester will bring, and I really, really would love to run away right now, but I won't. I am facing the new semester with a vengeance and it better look out, 'cause Stefanie has arrived.

Something New

Today feels new, do you know what I mean?

Today, I got a new haircut. One with BANGS. Bangs and I have not been friends during my lifetime. We... aren't necessarily acquainted. Sure, we've had our flings in the past. It looked cute when I was little,


but when I was five I decided that me and bangs have had our thing and I really, really didn't lik them anymore. Mom let me grow them out, and that was that. I never looked back.

I had my hair cut today with my favorite person (a lady named Linda) and she always does wonderful things to my hair. Today, she asked me what I wanted, and I replied: "Something different. Something short."

The result?

Bangs.


I know it's not a lot of bangs, but they're in my eyes and it's weird. And I know that people go around all the time, every day with bangs and they must be tolerable... but it's weird to have things in my eyes. I was trying to read a book, and they got all in my vision. Weeeeeeird!

Every time I look in the mirror, I see a different person. I like that person - she's kind of pretty.

To go with my new bangs, I bought new perfume. And a new belt (but I wanted the belt anyway, not because I need a new belt to be new or anything.)

So there you have it. New me, bangs and everything!

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As an aside, Siobhan has been telling me for ages to watch the BBC series of Robin Hood. They have the first two seasons to watch instantly on Netflix, and I'm not kidding - I've watched the entire first season in less than 24 hours... I AM HOOKED.

Later, I'll start the second season! If you have netflix and, uh, 10 or so hours to waste, WATCH IT. And then buy them as a present for your favorite blogger for Christmas next year! :D