Overall, an uneventful day

Today was a very long day.

Long in a not painful way, for once. A lot happened, and I realized while driving home that stuff that happened at school today really was this morning. It was one of those days where the morning and the afternoon are completely disconnected.

So, school was more or less uneventful. Nothing worth mentioning. Rehearsal, also not worth mentioning (except for the fact of having a rehearsal, if that makes sense.)

After this, it was 6pm. I don't have much homework to do so I decided to walk up to the school and participate in the school phoneathon for our "Annual Appeal" for money. It was actually kind of fun. Free food, and after the first five calls that I made I stopped shaking (You know that feeling of calling someone you don't know. You eventually get over it and just keep calling.) I called probably 100 people tonight and personally raised $150. For only talking to about 15 people in person, I think that's pretty good. I think that as a group we raised 5 thousand dollars tonight, which feels good.

What I thought was funny was that, when I was talking to machines, I sounded like a machine, myself. I have the overly pleasant voice of a robot, apparently.

While I was at rehearsal, I turned the heel of my sock. It was fun. I can knit socks without patterns now!!! Woot!!

In other news, CHECK OUT THE HENNA ON MY FEET! (My friend Kim did it for me. :) )

Inadequacies

I took a break from blogging for a while, mostly because I became so engrossed in what I was doing (ie reading) I completely forgot. So here's my notice that I am alive and well.

I'm alive and well.

I had a really good, relaxing weekend. Well, I worked. But other than that, nothing really interesting happened. Apparently there was some marathon in town that drew a lot of foreigners to town, and because of it, I had a lot of foreign people. I had a whole conversation at the register with a woman from Venezuela, who only spoke spanish. It was cool.

Tonight I've been filling out an application to be an aupair. It's like applying to college all over again, except this time it's for people who will scrutinize me down to the last freckle instead of the last Algebra grade. I'm feeling all of those application inadequacies, where, in a nutshell, I know that I'm made of awesome and that I'm a great babysitter and a good person, but how the heck do I convey it all to them?! I'm worried about it, but there's nothing I can do about it, really.

With that, I'm going to go choose another book.

P.S. My baby (aka the school newspaper) placed 2nd in the district TAPPS (Texas Association of Private and Parochial Schools) competition!

Better.

Okay guys. I'm still not normal (Hey. Nobody bounces back that fast.) but I'm feeling a lot better. I had a great, solitary, normal night last night, and I had a lot of time to myself while I was working tonight. I think I sold stuff to maybe 7 or 8 people tonight in the 4 hours that I was there. So it was lots of time to think, reflect, and wonder why the hell people would even come shopping on a thursday night. Let alone valentine's day.

I finished Brandy's socks last night. She loves them! (I love them too!)

Anyway. I just wanted to alleviate yalls worry about me. I'm feeling a lot better today.

And now I'm going to bed.

(But first, a picture which I find hilarious.)

A Letter

Dear Inventors of Hot Water, Chamomile Tea, and Trashy Romance Novels,

I'm writing to you from a secluded and dark area of my brain. I don't often visit here, but on the occasion that I do, I find myself a little under the weather.

When I do find myself wandering into this particular area, I find that the three of you are the people who I want to thank most. You are practically my idols. Who else could I turn to in my time of need? Hot Water is the ultimate healer of the body, Chamomile Tea the mind, and well, add the Romance Novel and you've got yourself a party. A very repetitive, same-story-with-different-names party.

I know this isn't a long letter, but it's very hard to find time, or a desire to write here in this place I'm visiting. The light isn't very bright, but they're slowly finding more candles to light up the space. I might have to leave soon, though.

Sincerely,
Hopeful

What I wish I could write

Warning: Teenager Angst Ahead.

What I wish I could write is that today was a better day.

It wasn't, really.

School was hard, choir rehearsal was trying, babysitting was an entirely other experience in another universe that I don't understand yet.

My stepmom mentioned something at the beginning of the year. That things go in 9 year cycles (or something like that) and this is the first year of the next cycle, and that likely things would be upturned and a little unstable this year. Yep. She got it spot on. So far? 2008 kind of isn't fun.

So what I really want to write is a meditation of some sort on unpopularity, sadness, and or Ingredients of Doom like yesterday, but instead, I think I'll go to sleep.

Bad Potion #9.

Mom mentioned to me that I hadn't mentioned Nicole in a while in one of my posts, and tonight I will oblige her.

I spent a good deal of my day freaking out in one of those weird I-Totally-Look-Calm-On-The-Outside ways. I've mentioned at some point (probably) that my mother is a ridiculously hard person to read (This is true. Stop looking at your computer like that, Mom!) and recently I've discovered that I, while still quite the open book, am becoming more like her. This is true mostly in the sense that even when I dislike people, they have absolutely no idea. I'm not a confrontational person, and thus, I'm really nice to everyone. This, while a good thing, results in a whole lot of bottled up Something. Anger, frustration, drama... fill in the word as you like, but some days it explodes out of me.

Stefanie's Recipe for a Terrible Day (Believe me, this is relevant.)

We're doing a project in dance class, and I am in a group of girls who are not my ideal group, and while I can deal with that, there's one girl in particular who just plain creeps me out. Today, while we were discussing something to do with choreography, she started giving me this attitude thing and I started giving it right back to her. I felt terrible afterwards, but no way was I going to apologize. I did nothing wrong.

(Ingredient #1: Pride.)

Later in the day, I expressed my desire to (possibly) quit my job to my mother, due to the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF EVERYTHING that is on my plate. She came back with a rational argument that, frankly, I can't even remember. I just remember that it made total sense. (How does she do that?)

(Ingredient #2: Stress.)

Auditions for the spring play (called You Can't Take It With You) were today after school. They could have gone better. I did fine, and I, being a senior, will be cast well. But you know that feeling of "I so could have done that better." It dogged me.

(Ingredient #3: Disappointment.)

By the time I got to piano today, I was so overwhelmed with all of the Ingredients of Doom that I couldn't concentrate on anything. My teacher was really sweet about it, and she could tell that my heart wasn't in it tonight, and my mind was somewhere WAY far off. She gave me some good advice, I started bawling, and I went on my merry way home.

(Ingredient #4: Tears.)

I came home, cried some more in my room (is crying like burning off fuel?) made myself some dinner, did my homework, and sat down at my piano with my guitar. I started alternating between my piano and my guitar and figured out a song or two, and by the end of it, the music made me feel a whole lot better.

Basically, today sucked. I'm thinking that tomorrow will be much better.

(Cue Monty Python's "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" song.)

3 Down

Amongst the 14 hours I worked this weekend (Which meant no knitting. :( ) I got accepted into another college!!

This weekend, it was Texas Christian University.

It feels good. It feels really good. I mean, TCU is a nationally ranked school. It's a good school that not everybody gets accepted into.

Mom sent me a text message while I was working, and I had to tell everyone for about an hour. Complete strangers knew that I had gotten accepted.

( :D !!!)

If you're keeping score at home, that makes 3 colleges down, 2 to go.

In other news, I wore a skirt to work, and it looked cute. I didn't want to wear pants again. It's getting old.

Ooh! If you guys weren't convinced of my dorkiness, I have more proof. (I don't know why I enjoy highlighing my dorky moments, but I do.) Last night I came home from work really upset (Won't detail it. It's not a big deal.) And when my mom wasn't there for me to snuggle with, I changed into very comfy pajamas and looked at sock yarn online at this one website I keep shopping at.

And it made the whole world better.

In my book, this proves the healing power of Yarn Fumes.